Intimacy & Your Cycle
As women, our cycle phases can bring about changes in mood, motivation, sleep, cravings, and yes, even our libido. In fact, our sexual desire can do a complete 180 during these times. Although everyone will have a unique experience, the ebb and flow of our hormones can play a major role in a variety of ways. So, let's explore how hormonal shifts affect our libido and in what ways we can sync our intimate moments with our cycles along the way.
Menstruation
Hit or a Miss
So, let's talk about that first phase of our cycle - commonly recognized as when our period begins. Yep, period sex. You either love it or hate it.
For many, as our progesterone levels drop and level out during the onset of our period, we actually begin to feel better. So any form of intimacy at this time may be more than okay. Also, blood can serve as a natural lubricant, making it an enjoyable experience for both parties.
But I know not everybody is on board with the idea and if you still commonly suffer from cramps, back pain, headaches, or any of those delightful side effects, you may not be in the mood for any penetration during this phase. And lets not forget the whole fear-of-blood-on-sheets thing - totally valid concern. Either way, an increase in blood flow down there, commonly caused by an orgasm, can be a great tool for relieving menstrual cramp pain and discomfort.
So, whether it’s through penetration, oral sex, or just a cozy night in, always prioritize your comfort above all else.
Follicular
Feeling Frisky
This phase begins with the start of your period and ends when you start ovulating. Hormonally, our estrogen levels are on the rise which explains an increase in libido and why we’re more well-lubricated.
As we get closer to our ovaries releasing the egg (ovulation) our body’s focus shifts to baby-making, whether your mind wants it or not. Biologically, the best way to do this is to crank up our libido so we’re in the mood to initiate sex.
Embrace this natural increase in sexual desire, confidence and motivation, with or without a partner.
That said, our bodies don’t consider all of life’s stressors so if you’re not feeling the vibe during this time, that’s totally okay. However, if this is the case, it may be a sign to reassess work/life balance, sleep habits and overall well-being. After all, it’s about finding a sweet spot where you feel your best, both in and out of the bedroom.
Ovulation
The Big “O”
The week leading up to ovulation estrogen levels will peak and your body will be doing everything it can to encourage you to get pregnant. Once the egg is released, it only has 24 hours to connect with sperm before it dies, so your body is on a pretty serious stopwatch.
A sharp increase in the desire for intimacy is expected and it's a great time to suggest something new with your partner, explore new boundaries, or treat yourself to some self love.
Again, everyone’s cycle journey is unique and for some, this phase can be particularly painful. If that’s the case, take time to relax and partake in activities that bring joy and relaxation.
Luteal
Laying Low
This phase likely offers the most diverse experience. As estrogen levels begin to fall and progesterone levels rise, some may feel more calm while others may experience moodiness, tender breasts, cravings, acne, headaches, cramping, fatigue the list goes on.
With estrogen dropping, we likely won’t have the same lubrication or sexual desire as we did in the days leading up to our luteal phase. However, not everyone will experience this dip. But just because you do, doesn’t mean sex is off the table.
This offers a great opportunity to communicate with your partner and offer solutions to what could possibly be a slightly less enjoyable phase. This could be introducing lube, having sex in the morning (on an empty stomach) versus the evening, trying new and more comfortable positions or just practicing different forms of intimacy.
And if you’re solo, there’s a good chance nothing will make you happier than slowing down, getting some extra sleep and adding in a self-care day or two.
